As Pakistanis, we’re all aware of the rishta problems women face here. There is a huge load of requirements and criteria that society expects a girl to meet. Most have to do with her appearance and personality. You’re expected to have a clean slate in life, be the shareefest of all and be exceptional at making gol roti.
You’re told you can only win the hearts of your in laws with your biryani and lazeez khaanay, not with your good actions or good heart. Which is sad, because most of us just want to find a partner we can have for the rest of our lives. But getting married, according to society, is a lot more.
Hence, we compiled a few reasons why and how women face problems and rejections when it comes to rishtay and getting married.
1. She’s dark
Ever since the colonial masters aka GORAY took over this part of the subcontinent, an inferiority complex has settled in. Girls nowadays ruin their faces with bad fairness creams and cut down on their outdoor times or sports because in the end, everyone wants a fair complexion girl. Wherever you see, left or right, in rishta ads or direct requirements, you’ll find that the potential groom or his mother require you to be very white. The whiter you are, the more chances getting married will be an easy breeze.
2. She’s fat and ugly
If being dark isn’t the biggest tragedy, then being fat and/or ugly is. Now I don’t know what society’s criteria for “beautiful and ugly” is but everyone’s beautiful in their own way. However, society doesn’t get that. They want all Katrina Kaifs to be lined up for their sons. I know you want good wives for your sons, ladies, but for that you must try looking into their hearts instead of their faces. And of course if a girl’s not slim and in shape, she’s fat. That is a deal-breaker too, sadly. You’d call us aged or mature too because we have a couple of pounds on. SAD.
3. She talks so confidently, she also looks clever
I don’t know what being able to talk openly says about us to you, but being able to talk a lot is one thing I’ve mastered speaking to friends- and I’d rather not be judged for that. Only because we talk a lot, we’re labelled as chalaak? Good one, yaar. Good one. Hence you reject us in fear we’d end up wrecking your home.
4. She went abroad for studies
My parents were confident in me and my ability and so they trusted me like any one would trust their son, and they sent me abroad to achieve a great degree. You want to reject me for that? Because I’ve studied (most probably) in the West and hung out with white people, and Asians, and Indians and other Pakistanis? Because I learned to be independent? Sure, go ahead and reject me. I’m better off without such stupid presumptions anyway.
5. She can’t cook
I’ll definitely cook if I like to cook and serve food to people. But please, stop putting “cooking” as a prerequisite to everything. Us girls have thankfully been able to make places for ourselves in colleges and workplaces and most of us enjoy good jobs, thus don’t have the time to be the cook at home too. If we like being housewives, good on us, we’ll learn one day or another. If we work and also love cooking, then we’ll know how to cook and we’ll cook up a feast for you. However, stop treating it like not knowing how to cook is a disability.
We all know someone around us who has been through this torture when it comes to getting married, and we must acknowledge it is not right. So stay strong and brave, xoxo Team BeautyHooked.com! 🙂